My five sisters and I are in the habit of gathering together monthly to pray the rosary.  Over the years our group of six girls has increased to include our children and grandchildren as well.  We all enjoy a treat together, some great conversation, and best of all, the opportunity to unite in prayer to our beautiful Blessed Mother.  Over the years we have experienced many answered prayers through our monthly gatherings.  But the answer to prayer that had the greatest impact on my life is what I like to call the Miracle of the Three Marys. 

The first Mary is my mother.  My mom lovingly mothered nine children, six of whom were girls.  I never gave much thought to the tremendous challenges that she faced in raising so many children with so much love, until it became my turn to be a mother.

I always thought that I would have lots of daughters, since this is the type of family that I grew up in, and I’ve cherished my sisters as they are all my best friends.  But, my own family was not meant to mirror my childhood family.  Instead, I became the mother of four sons within five years.  I began to think that I wasn’t a very good mother to boys, and that I needed more practice, so God kept giving me more boys to practice with!  My sons, John Paul, Justin, Joseph and Jack, are all wonderful.  They bring me so much joy!  During those early years, which were a blur of nursing, diapers and Barney, I always turned to my mother for advice and support.  Although a distance of 80 miles separated us, my long distance phone bill attested to the many hours she spent listening to me fret about my mothering skills (or lack of skills!).

 So, it was with great sadness, that I said goodbye to her for the last time, when my youngest son, Jack, was six months old.  My mother, Mary, died of a brain tumor on Mother’s Day, 1999.  Mother’s Day has been bittersweet for me ever since, as I still miss her presence very deeply, every day.  Now, my conversations with her are really long distance, because I know that she’s in heaven and is still a very good listener.  I also know that she still has so much love to share.

When Jack was two years old, I became pregnant again.  At the first ultrasound, I was found to have amniotic bands, which are pieces of uterine wall that have broken away and dangle in the amniotic fluid.  These bands have the potential to amputate limbs in utero, or worse, strangle the growing fetus.  So my sisters and nieces called an “emergency rosary”, where we immediately came together to pray.  We prayed, not only to our mother, Mary, but also to Jesus’ mother, Mary, and begged them to pray to God for us.  Our request was to keep my growing baby from harm.  One month later, when I returned to a specialist for a repeat ultrasound, all of the bands were gone!  It was a miracle from our two favorite Mary’s in heaven.

The next miracle occurred on June 25^th, 2001, when my husband, Paul, and I gave birth to our only daughter, Mary.  It was not only a miracle that she was a healthy baby girl, but also because she was born on my mother’s birthday.  I believe that God sent my daughter, Mary, on this special day as a testament to the love of my own mother.  My daughter Mary is now six years old, and has been my constant joy.  I give thanks to God for my three beautiful Marys, and I ask for His blessings upon all mothers.

You can visit Anne Bender’s blog site at:  www.annebender.blogspot.com

When I was growing up, the rosary was very important to my family.  A radio station from a nearby town broadcast the rosary every day at 6:15 pm.  All of the children, (there were nine of us), would be busy at our evening childhood activities around the house or in the neighborhood (usually washing dishes, doing homework, or playing with friends), when we would hear our mother call out “It’s 6:15!” and we all knew that meant we must stop whatever we were doing and immediately get to the kitchen and on our knees, for the family rosary.  It wasn’t a tradition that I relished as a child, it was more of a chore that I just accepted as part of my life.  Complaints were often met with the slogan “The family that prays together stays together.”  So, we obeyed our parents, and joined in the daily family rosary and did our best to limit our complaints.

As I moved away from home and set out on my own life, the daily rosary was dropped from my routine. Yet, that old slogan about family togetherness rang true in a sense, as my sisters and I developed our own tradition of a monthly rosary.  Once a month, for the past 25 years we have been taking turns visiting each other’s homes for desserts, conversation, and a family rosary to honor our Blessed Mother, to pray for our intentions as a group, and to hold our family together.

We have even been known to hold “emergency rosaries” when someone was in dire need of prayer.  My favorite story about an “emergency rosary” was when my niece Jenny brought every one together to pray for me.  I was pregnant with my fifth child, and only daughter, and was told that there were amniotic bands (pieces of uterine wall which had broken away and were floating in the amniotic fluid), which threatened to amputate my baby’s limbs in utero. Jenny called everyone and told them, “We are getting together tonight to pray the rosary for Annie’s baby.”  Like our childhood days, everyone dropped whatever plans they had for that evening and we joined together in prayer.  The emergency rosary worked!  At the next ultrasound visit, all of the bands had reattached to the uterine wall, and my daughter, Mary, was born perfectly healthy!

I used to try to say the rosary by myself on a daily basis.  My best attempts to keep up this tradition were in the car on the way to work.  I remember a story about Mother Teresa, in which her Sisters of Charity carried a rosary with them wherever they went and they would judge the distance of their trip by how many rosaries they could say before they arrived.  For me, my work place was one rosary away from my house!  But, I didn’t continue with this daily rosary, as I never felt that my heart was really in it.  I always felt that I was much too distracted by paying attention to the road and thinking about the day ahead and didn’t really pay attention to what I was praying.  So now, I satisfy myself by glancing at the rosaries that are hanging from my rearview mirror. I do offer a single Hail Mary whenever I hear a siren, for the safety and well being of the person in need of assistance, and I also offer a single Hail Mary whenever I pass the beautiful Marian Shrine on my route.  But I know that one Hail Mary doesn’t even come close to the beauty of the entire rosary prayed with love and devotion, so I continued to look for ways that I could bring the daily rosary back into my life with meaning yet without distractions.

My mom had always told me that whenever I couldn’t sleep, I should pray the rosary, and she guaranteed that I would be sleeping before I could finish it.  She was right!  Now, as a busy mother of five children who works nearly full time, I am exhausted by the time I can finally go to bed at night, and drifting off to sleep comes pretty easily.  But the many worries that are involved in parenting usually wake me up in the middle of the night, and keep me awake for hours.  So now, before I go to bed at night, I take my rosary with me.  I hold the crucifix tightly in my hand and comfort myself by knowing that whatever pains I may be feeling in life, Jesus felt them even more.  When I awaken in the middle of the night, Jesus is still right there with me on His crucifix reminding me of His love and constant presence.  Then, I follow the advice of my mom, and turn to my Heavenly Mother in the beautiful, rhythmic prayer of the rosary until I lose consciousness once again and the beads slip from my hand to the mattress.

I put a lot of guilt on myself for not continuing the daily rosary tradition with my own children.  I often use the excuse of a busy lifestyle and there’s just no time to pray. How would I feel if God told me “I’m too busy for you, there’s just no time for me to take care of your needs today”?  So, I’ve been trying to find a way to put this tradition back into the life of my family.  One thing that my husband Paul and I always enjoy doing with our children is praying the Way of the Cross as a family during Lent.  Part of the reason why we enjoy this prayer method is because each of the children has their own prayer booklet with pictures and words that are meaningful to them in their lives as children.  They love to take turns leading each station, as we go around the room.  They rarely complain about this Lenten Family Prayer, in fact, it seems that they look forward to it.  So, the idea came to me, why not employ this same method with the rosary and begin to include it as a daily family prayer.

We started during October, the month of the Rosary.  At first, we began as always, I lead and the family follows.  But when Mary asked, “Can I lead?” I realized that with five children, the rosary would lend itself perfectly to the family rounds in the same way that the Way of the Cross does.  Each of our children would have an opportunity to lead a decade, and it would give them a chance to become adept at leading as well as following, to really learn how to pray the rosary, and to increase their enthusiasm for saying this lovely prayer.  And so far, it is working like a charm!  I hope that we can continue beyond the month of October and make it a tradition in our family.

I had a great satisfaction from the family rosary recently.  Usually, when I arrive home from work at 5:00, the house is in chaos.  My husband Paul is cooking dinner; the children are finishing their homework, helping with chores or playing basketball outside.  Oftentimes, I come home to fighting or complaining of some sort, and I’m tempted to walk right back out the door!  But on this day, the house was quiet.  Paul was cooking, and the boys were playing basketball, but Mary, who usually runs to me for a hug and some tattling about who has been teasing her lately, was no where to be found.  When I walked to my bedroom to change, I found the door was closed.  As I opened it, there was Mary lying on my bed, praying the rosary all by herself!  It did this mother’s heart so much good to see her daughter turning to our Heavenly Mother in prayer without any prompting.  It was a pure gift from her innocent heart.

One thing that I have noticed about the difference between praying the rosary with my family or a church group, and praying it by myself, is that it seems to be so much easier to concentrate when I am praying out loud with others than when I try to focus silently by myself.  It seems to be something about the rhythmic, continuous chanting of the rosary that draws me in and keeps me focused.  I also find it to be extremely relaxing when I pray the rosary out loud.  This probably explains why it is such a good sleep aid for me!  Another wonderful thing about praying the rosary as a group is that it is more pray-ers!  It’s more people learning to love the rosary, learning to love Jesus and Mary; it’s more people spending time in adoration and contemplation of the Holy Family.  I imagine that God must be pleased indeed!  I pray that our efforts at praying the family rosary will truly become a family tradition that will continue beyond October and long after I’m gone. 

You can visit Anne Bender’s blog site at:  www.annebender.blogspot.com